The Getz Files

The Dutch, like all other people, are strange people. As my mom says, the people you come across in shops are either as nice as they could possibly be or as horrible as they could possibly be. Here are some examples and counterexamples.

• I went to the drycleaner to see about getting my shirts washed and ironed, as ironing generally ranks dead last on the list of things I want to do. One shirt cost €2.55, three cost €5.95. This was still a little steep, but surely, I thought, if you could get a deal for 3 shirts you'd be able to get a better deal for 12 shirts. No chance - my suggestion to that effect was met with a look of incomprehension approaching horror. I said, "Then I'm afraid you'll get no business from me." The response: a stony-faced "Fine."
• Yet the Dutch were in the past among the greatest merchants in the world and even today punch well above their weight commercially. According to the Forbes 2000 list of global companies, Holland has 2 of the world's 10 largest companies, 3 of the top 50, 78 of the top 102 and 33 of the top 2000, putting them 12th on the global list. (The only other countries in the Top 10 are the US (5), UK (3) and Japan (1) - numbers add up to 11 because of Shell.) They have #2 in oil, #3 in food and drink, #4 in banking and #10 in insurance.*
• My squash club, which is nice and smart otherwise, doesn't have soap in the showers or a water fountain anywhere (and the water in the tap in the change room turns warm pretty quickly). This, especially the soap, is, in my experience unprecedented. A friend suggests this is because they're cheap.
• And yet, when I'd forgotten my towel and my friend hadn't brought the extra one I asked for, a Dutch chap in the changeroom heard my dilemma and offered to let me borrow his unused towel. I was quite amazed - as I would have been to receive such an offeanywherere in the world.

*I've put together the list for SA, but I'm not sure how reliable it is as Forbes lists countries by primary listing apparently, so Old Mutual, Anglo and SAB are all supposedly English. That makes me a little piqued, I can tell you. I have included the big ones I can remember (including those mentioned. Anyway, South Africa's equivalents are: 0/100, 2/200, 8/500, 9/1000 and 19/2000. World leaders in mining and brewing but nothing else.

Note: The above stats come from my love of going through lists and compiling things. I've always been a keen amateur statistician, and used to make bunches of them when I was young, especially world records and championships held by Jewish sportsmen, and cricketing records held for any period of time by South Africans, eg Jackie McGlew held the record for the slowest century (545 minutes - that must have been hell to watch**) from 1957 until 1977. I still have all these lists at home, so if anybody is interested let me know and I can make copies when I go home in February.

** Actually, the whole match, vs Australia, sounds awful (non-cricket-fans can probably stop reading now). On Day 1, 155 runs were scored, on day 2, 158, on day 3, 168, on day 4, 183, and on day 5, 175. Some of you (those who care) may be asking where I get this info: from my absolute 100% totally favourite site on the Internet: cricinfo.com. If you like cricket, go there and look around: it will ruin your productivity and make you much happier. (Unless you're South African and you follow those plonkers in West Australia. To lose by an innings! Against a state side! That had lost the 4 previous games! On a ground that we should do well on! I won't say I'm worried, but this doesn't augur well.)