Friday, January 27, 2006
I wouldn't sit on that if I were you
There are lots of places telling you about the best hotels in the world, and I’ve been fortunate enough to stay at some of them – the Shangri-la in Singapore, the Polana in Maputo, La Mamounia in Marrakech – but there aren’t so many reporting on the worst hotels. Good bad hotel stories are individual, very specific, and can be hilarious. I went around the ICTY asking people for their experiences. Almost everyone had a story, taking in most parts of the world. Thanks to all of you –sorry I couldn’t use every story. To those few who couldn't think of any really bad experiences, I say wait, your turn is yet to come.
Behind the Iron Curtain
Aubrey stayed at the Moscow State University Hotel, which was connected to a casino run by the mafia. The bathroom, which lacked hot water, had peeling paint, and one had to stand on a mold-covered pallet to wash. One afternoon, when her party returned to the hotel, the receptionist demanded immediate payment of a $20 phone bill rung up by one of the travellers. He didn’t have it on him, so the receptionist refused to give any of them their keys. One guy tried to grab his key but was roughed up by the security guard. Eventually, the hotel staff let them into their rooms – and then locked them in until the next morning, when they checked out (which isn’t surprising).
Moscow sounds lovely. Sabine, staying in a student hotel, had a room filled with roaches, sub-freezing temperatures and boiling wallpaper. Yes – boiling. Apparently, the hotel had 2 days with and 2 days without water. When the water went off, the upstairs neighbour had left his tap on, eventually flooding one side of the building.
Also in Russia - Siberia this time – Diane teases me with the mention of cockroaches (again), but won’t reveal more details until Monday as she needs a few days to come to terms with the horror of the experience.
For an overall bad experience, Tara’s youth hostel in Riga “was like something out of a horror movie. It was very dreary, and the area of town didn’t feel safe at all. It was really spooky - the hotel is this massive building and since no sane person would vist Riga in the dead of winter, my boyfriend and I were the only guests. It was dirty and disgusting smelling, like a combination of years of cigarette smokes and mold.”
Ex Africa Semper Aliquid Nonoperational
My worst experience was in Mozambique, at Bilem. Our hotel ran out of water and electricity, so the fans stopped, with the temperature about 38 degrees outside. It looked like a refugee camp, with people lined up against the walls, slowly melting from the heat. Oddly, Stephen had the same experience in Cameroon.
I also had a hotel in Morocco with a towel the size of a hankie and a shower so small that the shower curtain wrapped all the way around me. But the view of the sea was phenomenal.
The Mysterious and Not-so-mysterious East
Chantal managed to find 2 youth hostels in China that were more than just dirty – the sheets were suspiciously moist. In one of them, the smell of sewerage wafted up through the toilets every morning.
In Sydney, Stefanie discovered white clumps on her trouser legs while on her way to a meeting. On her return, an investigation of the closet revealed three years’ accumulated dust.
Lovely Latin America
Caroline’s hotel in Peru had centipedes in the toilet.
In Belize, Grace found herself in a filthy hotel where the beds lacked mattresses. She didn’t stay.
Western Europe and America – The First World?
Geerten has been particularly unlucky. From Ostend, surrounded by old bibulous Brits and staring at a concrete wall, to Miami, where the hotel just told the guests to bugger off when the hurricane approached, to New York, where there was vomit in the communal lavatory every morning, he knows how to pick them.
Fiana’s B&B in the Arran Isles had hair in the bath, a coat of grease on the kitchen and a sticky kitchen table.
In London, Phillip had a toilet so small he couldn’t sit on it properly. The shower was a pipe connected to a shower head. As he puts it: “I turn the water on, the pipe goes bang, the shower head hits the ceiling, I’m standing in the middle of a fountain and all my clothes in the bathroom are soaked.”
Stephen also found a place with character in London: bloodstains on the wall (he isn’t certain what kind of blood), a dead rat in the ventilation system, and a phonebooth-type shower with only cold water in the middle of the room.
But the best so far is from Kirsten: in Rome, there were worms in her shower. The proprietor at first didn’t believe her, but once confronted with the evidence, returned with a can of Raid and sprayed it liberally. Kirsten returned to the room a few hours later to find the smell of Raid still strong, and the worms looking quite perky. She was moved to another room, where one wall was painted like The Bahamas. So not all bad then.
If anyone has more to share, please do.
Behind the Iron Curtain
Aubrey stayed at the Moscow State University Hotel, which was connected to a casino run by the mafia. The bathroom, which lacked hot water, had peeling paint, and one had to stand on a mold-covered pallet to wash. One afternoon, when her party returned to the hotel, the receptionist demanded immediate payment of a $20 phone bill rung up by one of the travellers. He didn’t have it on him, so the receptionist refused to give any of them their keys. One guy tried to grab his key but was roughed up by the security guard. Eventually, the hotel staff let them into their rooms – and then locked them in until the next morning, when they checked out (which isn’t surprising).
Moscow sounds lovely. Sabine, staying in a student hotel, had a room filled with roaches, sub-freezing temperatures and boiling wallpaper. Yes – boiling. Apparently, the hotel had 2 days with and 2 days without water. When the water went off, the upstairs neighbour had left his tap on, eventually flooding one side of the building.
Also in Russia - Siberia this time – Diane teases me with the mention of cockroaches (again), but won’t reveal more details until Monday as she needs a few days to come to terms with the horror of the experience.
For an overall bad experience, Tara’s youth hostel in Riga “was like something out of a horror movie. It was very dreary, and the area of town didn’t feel safe at all. It was really spooky - the hotel is this massive building and since no sane person would vist Riga in the dead of winter, my boyfriend and I were the only guests. It was dirty and disgusting smelling, like a combination of years of cigarette smokes and mold.”
Ex Africa Semper Aliquid Nonoperational
My worst experience was in Mozambique, at Bilem. Our hotel ran out of water and electricity, so the fans stopped, with the temperature about 38 degrees outside. It looked like a refugee camp, with people lined up against the walls, slowly melting from the heat. Oddly, Stephen had the same experience in Cameroon.
I also had a hotel in Morocco with a towel the size of a hankie and a shower so small that the shower curtain wrapped all the way around me. But the view of the sea was phenomenal.
The Mysterious and Not-so-mysterious East
Chantal managed to find 2 youth hostels in China that were more than just dirty – the sheets were suspiciously moist. In one of them, the smell of sewerage wafted up through the toilets every morning.
In Sydney, Stefanie discovered white clumps on her trouser legs while on her way to a meeting. On her return, an investigation of the closet revealed three years’ accumulated dust.
Lovely Latin America
Caroline’s hotel in Peru had centipedes in the toilet.
In Belize, Grace found herself in a filthy hotel where the beds lacked mattresses. She didn’t stay.
Western Europe and America – The First World?
Geerten has been particularly unlucky. From Ostend, surrounded by old bibulous Brits and staring at a concrete wall, to Miami, where the hotel just told the guests to bugger off when the hurricane approached, to New York, where there was vomit in the communal lavatory every morning, he knows how to pick them.
Fiana’s B&B in the Arran Isles had hair in the bath, a coat of grease on the kitchen and a sticky kitchen table.
In London, Phillip had a toilet so small he couldn’t sit on it properly. The shower was a pipe connected to a shower head. As he puts it: “I turn the water on, the pipe goes bang, the shower head hits the ceiling, I’m standing in the middle of a fountain and all my clothes in the bathroom are soaked.”
Stephen also found a place with character in London: bloodstains on the wall (he isn’t certain what kind of blood), a dead rat in the ventilation system, and a phonebooth-type shower with only cold water in the middle of the room.
But the best so far is from Kirsten: in Rome, there were worms in her shower. The proprietor at first didn’t believe her, but once confronted with the evidence, returned with a can of Raid and sprayed it liberally. Kirsten returned to the room a few hours later to find the smell of Raid still strong, and the worms looking quite perky. She was moved to another room, where one wall was painted like The Bahamas. So not all bad then.
If anyone has more to share, please do.
Comments:
<< Home
Hotel Prati, Naples. I planned a great trip to Rome, Pompeii, and Capri to surprise Kim. She insisted on doing something, so I modestly feigned going dutch on the trip and let her get a hotel in Napoli. She chose to repay me with the purportedly three star Prati, whose selling point was its proximity to the railway station. Naturally, she considered this a good thing, which I can assure you- after seeing the prostitutes there at midday- it was not. The reception looked eerie, with big clunky brass keys affixed to sizable planks of wood, not doubt to remind the junkies to turn them in after they'd finished shooting up in the rooms. While I found nary a burnt spoon, Kim was quite literally scandalized by our room. Aside from clearly having missed any sort of building code, or the possibility that any legislation existed regulating hotel hygiene, we were treated to the voices of our neighbours- crisp through the paper thin walls. The shower was horrific, Kim half contemplated not showering if she would be dirtier coming out than going in. The bed was my favorite though, hands down. While I consider myself to be somewhat braver and adventurous than the average chump, both Kim and I slept fully clothed, and she opted for gloves and her hat as well.
Hotel Prati, we salute you.
Hotel Prati, we salute you.
# posted by 
: February 23, 2006
: February 23, 2006
Hmm - I stayed in a hotel in Manaus which was once very grand but had fallen on hard times. I think my friend and I were the only people staying in its 200-odd rooms. I kind of felt like we were in The Shining.
Post a Comment
<< Home
