The Getz Files

Thus quoth Slartibartfast. Was he right? There's been quite a lot of renaming in SA in the last few years, which is to be expected. I generally have no problem with it. I really don't mind that Pretoria is now Tshwane and Bloemfontein now Mangaung -- I had no stake in those names. I understand that others might not like it, but in some sense vae victis, and when you consider what we (whites) have managed to hang on to, I don't think it's a big deal that a few names change. We've also got used to the disappearance of the Transvaal without too much difficulty. (Though the existence of 2.2m webpages with Transvaal in them (to be sure, Gauteng has 6.4m pages) suggests that there are still a few hanging on to the old name. Transvaal.co.za is, not surprisingly, about rugby...)

I don't mind that they changed Jan Smuts airport to Johannesburg International Airport, but I sometimes wish they hadn't - I miss the old name, which I was used to, and I think there are good things to say about Smuts (in a non-South African context, he was the only man to serve on both Imperial War Cabinets, and he basically wrote the League of Nations Charter, as detailed in Margaret Macmillan's superb Peacemakers). And if you're going to change the name, why not give it an interesting name? Johannesburg International is so boring. If they didn't want a contentious name, why not something like Highveld or Golden Gateway or Reef, or even Peace & Freedom, which I think would be a very cool name for an airport? Or revive an old name from elsewhere, like Idlewild or Kai Tak.

A while back, we had a real problem with boring names: three of the new provinces had North in the title, which was totally pathetic. At least Northern Province has since changed its name to Limpopo, which I heartily approve of, but North West should get its act together. I suggest Mafikeng (or is it Mafeking), Near-Bot or Platinumania (most of the world's platinum comes from that province).

In Durban, they wanted to rename Point Road after Gandhi, who got his legal and human rights start there. Good idea, right? Big road, nobody remembers now who Mr. Point was. But the Indian community wasn't happy as Point Road has become a hangout of prostitutes and drug dealers. Ha ha. So the plan was dropped. Funny BBC story here.

Naming issues also matter in football (and other less important sports). I am dead set against stadiums named after sponsors -- too much commercialisation really is a bad thing. Much as I detest the Gooners, I think it's a real shame that they are calling their new stadium not Highbury, or New Highbury, but Emirates Stadium. And I don't think it's at all cool that Rangers, whom I like even less, are renaming Ibrox T-Mobile stadium. United better not do something like that.

Arsenal have also just signed a deal with Israel's Tourism Ministry to advertise in the ground. The Arse, showing that their cravenness is more real than apparent, asked the United Arab Emirates if that would be OK with them. (Jared, a fanatical Gooner, comments: "Arsenal Football Club is in the process of solving the Middle East crisis. ") It could be worse - Juventus, showing themselves to be both craven and anti-Semitic, actually cancelled a deal with the tourism ministry after sponsor Tamoil, a Libyan oil company, objected. So don't tell me sports and politics don't mix.